April Notes

April Notes

the first bouquet of bluets left by a boy beside my bed this April morning


the first bouquet of bluets; left by a boy beside my bed this April morning


(insight at dawn)

i think it’s dangerous to live in an idea of your life. your relationship. your work. your politics.
but even this is an idea.


(return of the geese)

Thursday morning trumpeted by the negotiation of nesting rights over Neringa Pond.



they passed their stress between them like they had this winter’s cough.



I find myself softening more and more into generalities, which leads to increasing ease, and also anxiety–about further aging–how it separates me from the specificity upon which so many lives depend… like road signs, and names, and numbers, and dates. And also how it releases me, into the merging light of the One.


(body memory)

Casey & I served on the organizing committee for the first-ever Earth Day Fair in Cape May County. A few days before the event, I miscarried, and a week later, after heading the Beach Sweep, we put out our resumes to dozens of schools across the state of Vermont.  23 years have passed, but the preciousness & fragility of life (human & planet) continue to pulse–inside of me–forever shaped by this week in 1993.


(The Seated Woman of Çatalhöyük circa 6,000 BCE)




I don’t need to bash Hillary to feel the BERN.


(politics, continued)

“Reality” isn’t everything.
Challenge it.


(Seasonal amnesia.)

Sunburn. Black flies. Ant hills.


(the center)

Last night, when faced with the astonishing talent of a 16 year-old, I felt the despair of the ordinary. What is the point for the rest of us? How can we bear our generic gifts in the face of such greatness? But then I saw the earnest face of the cellist, and the violinist, and the percussionist, along with the multitudes in the chorus, and the rapt attention of the listeners around me, and I knew. Our work is to stand in the center of our own lives. And celebrate that too.



I lost my diamond earring yesterday. I’ve worn the pair for more than 30 years. In the shower. In the ocean. Over seas. Over night. Dancing. At my wedding. At yours. During labor. During loss. In the garden. In the woods. It’s amazing how something so small can topple something so large as identity. If the diamond is found, what a delight. If it isn’t, what a meditation. Equally profound.



every so often, if i stay put, i’ll slip into that soft space–of grace–sensing the gentle breeze, the promise of summer’s pace, the mating duets of birds, the chorus of peepers across the pond, the company of my people, the caress of stillness and place…



first sign of leafing revealed at dusk in the stencil of the cherry tree against a robin egg sky


(a robin’s meditation)

step, step, step, pause…
step, step, step, pause…
consider, contemplate, commune.

there is more to life than activity.


One thought on “April Notes

  1. I really enjoyed this free-form post. I imagine it may have taken a bit of a leap for you to post it, but it really worked for me. Thanks!

    Liked by 1 person

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