A reporter for the New York Times has been in Brattleboro for the past two days interviewing townspeople about you know what. Our murders.
Murders happen everywhere, but what’s different about ours is the response.
While we can’t change what happened in the Co-op, we are responsible for how we respond; and I know that many like me are moved by how much grief and compassion has been expressed.
In my mind, this vulnerability defines the strength of this community. We aren’t perfect, but neither are we numb or blind. We feel. We hurt. We question. We respond.
Sabine Rhyne, the Shareholder and Community Relations Manager at the Co-op, had this to share about our community’s response:
“I wish you had been by my side on Thursday morning when we opened. First, there were a small group of people milling around outside, regulars, who wanted to be there as soon as the doors opened. Then, two long-time co-op shareholders walked in, carrying a large box full of vases of flowers from their garden to set on each checkout counter. Then, a delivery of bagels and cream cheese from our friends at the vitamin company across town arrived for the staff. And bit by bit, the store filled with people and flowers and cards, many folks touching and hugging, almost all smiling and tearing up simultaneously.“
After the initial news frenzy, there hasn’t been much in the coverage about the Co-op tragedy; but beginning last night, at the two-week mark, I noticed new headlines–this time with a community focus:
“Co-op copes with shooting aftermath”
“Co-ops across the country send support to Brattleboro”
“Vt. co-op receives support after fatal shooting”
When the New York Times reporter asked me how we would rid ourselves of this tragedy, I replied that we couldn’t; that it had become part of who we are; part of our history.
When she asked how we would move on, I said that I didn’t know; but that I trusted that with the abundant heart and creativity and compassion of this community, we would find our way, one step at a time.
When she asked what I felt most strongly about–whether it was that someone I knew committed such a crime–or that it happened at the Co-op, I said that it was both of those things in the beginning; but now my attention has shifted to the community–how we respond, how we support the Co-op staff, and how we compost such a horrid act.
I don’t typically follow sensational news stories. For starters, I don’t have television. And news journals are too hefty for me–both in size and content.
I enjoy the local paper now and then, especially for the classifieds and the obituaries, but my entire day can be thrown by one sad extraneous story from across the country. I’m hard-wired that way.
Occasionally, there’s no avoiding the news–either because it’s posted all over Facebook–as with the Kasey Anthony saga, or it is so compelling that I can’t ignore it–like the massacre at the youth camp this summer in Norway.
I’ve continued following that story because I know that Norway treats its criminals with greater dignity than others societies; and I suspect that this gross violation of humanity will challenge that distinction. I hope it doesn’t.
I’ve never been in favor of the death penalty, and never wished death on anyone until the summer when a cousin’s young friend was raped. I remember thinking that it was a good thing that I was not the officer who pulled over the car and found the missing nine-year old girl stuffed under the rapist’s back seat.
I would have strangled that man on the spot; And this realization made me more grateful than ever for our judicial system–in that it doesn’t allow people like me free range with grief.
After the atrocity in Norway, I was heartened to see a quote shared on Twitter by 18 year old, Helle Gannestead, who had been among those attacked at the youth camp:
“When one man can cause so much harm – think how much love we can create together.”
I find the same spirit alive in Brattleboro. Despite the pain that Richard Gagnon’s act has inflicted on so many, the response of this community has been one of true beauty. Though no beauty can replace life that is stolen or take away the heartbreak of those most intimate with the loss, there is hope that something good can come of that which hurts us.
Though I can’t explain it, I’ve always had a heart for those labeled “criminal.” Perhaps this is due to my early steeping in the tender teachings of Jesus, or that as the oldest of eight and later an elementary teacher, I could see that even the most hardened criminal was at one time an innocent child.
There is a quote that I know to be true even though the truth of it confounds me in the face of such horrific acts as rape and murder:
“The real measure of a society is how it treats its prisoners.”
This truth runs tandem with that which I also know to be true–that we cannot separate ourselves from our problems; that there is no way to simply get “rid” of them: The toxic chemicals that we dispose of leach into our water and air. The children that we abandon in cities grow up to hate us. The elders that we dispose of in institutions become ourselves. The hurt that we stuff inside one day acts out.
Though we cannot change what Richard did, we are responsible for how we respond–in our community and in ourselves. Like Norway, I think Brattleboro is up for the challenge.
“The world is not respectable; it is mortal, tormented, confused, deluded forever; but it is shot through with beauty, with love, with glints of courage and laughter; and in these, the spirit blooms.” Santayana
As I listen to the Senator from Vermont address the budget issue with calls for “shared sacrifice,” I wonder how such a compassionate nation can be so careless with those we claim to care about the most.
“One of worst proposals on how to reduce red ink came from a group of senators calling themselves the Gang of Six. They want massive cuts in Social Security, Medicare, Medicaid and virtually every program important to working families, the sick, the elderly, the children and the poor.”
Though he is a Senator from Vermont, my Facebook friend from New Jersey captured Senator Sander’s call for “shared sacrifice” best:
“Bernie, at least, still has–us–as his focus.
Thanks to Vermont for speaking for all of us regular people!”
I’m not sure what this travel piece is doing on my Vermont blog, except that it’s so000000 good to get outta here every now and then–especially after 5 months of the white stuff!
Every Vermonter has the fantasy of escaping at least part of winter–or better yet–to take off during that dreadful time of year that we don’t mention in travel brochures: MUD season!
So why am I so anxious about leaving smack in the middle of it? I guess I’m STUCK. It’s been 2 decades since I settled into these Green Mountains, and even longer since I traveled abroad.
mud tires, Waloszek (visipix.com)
I used to be a rolling stone… an Army brat who attended at a half-dozen different schools in as many states… and then backpacked through Europe 3 times before setting some roots.
Which is why despite the fact that they put their early SPRINGS in my face, I appreciate my Facebook friends. In the past few weeks, they’ve shared their best travel tips, helping thaw my “cold feet” when it comes to finally leaving this place I call home.
Facebook Friends Travel Tips
MONEY. How do you bring it, spend it, keep it safe?
FB Replies: 7
ATM machines then keep cash close to your body.
Careful at ATMs. If a machine doesn’t work and someone offers to help you.
Check bank and credit cards for the rate they charge for using them abroad – use the one that has the best rate.
ATM’s totally. It’s all I use. Also – I always have at least two cards, just in case something goes wrong with one of them
Don’t use your debit card as a debit card – only a credit card. Know your PIN for your credit cards so you can get cash. And yes, bring 2 for sure.
Wear a money belt
Let your credit card companies where you’ll be traveling so that they expect charges from there. Sometimes they refuse charges if you are not a frequent traveler!
Hodler, detail, visipix.com
What do I wear on an overnight flight so that so that I don’t arrive feeling wilted?
FB Replies: 12
Black yoga pant & tunic-type top–like one of the nice kurtas from Dragonfly. Or leggings and short dress…..comfy if you can. Also, you will get your luggage before you see your hosts (go through customs, etc.), so you can freshen up, change, etc. in the bathroom.
I ALWAYS wear stretchy pants on the plane
Take Ambien.
Do not take Ambien.
I knew she would say that.
Wear support socks so you feet and legs don’t swell- bring toothbrush, hair product and light make-up on the plane.
Jammies, of course!
Lavender oil.
You are over thinking this… You are a traveler, you know how to travel! You have a personal style that’s carried you through thus far, rock that & they’ll love you, almost, just as much as I/we do…
White no wrinkle shirt–white always makes people look fresh and perky (honest!) so the black pants and white top, maybe a scarf and you look professional, refreshed and good to go!
You can freshen up in the rest room before going to luggage claim. In Japan they actually had full shower rigs and lockers for a fee.
We flew to Hawaii once and before we landed they gave us hot towel/face cloths. Felt great!
visipix.com
Must haves for the flight?
Facebook replies: 15
I like to carry a pareo/sarong in my carry on bag. Works great as a blanket or pillow or throw it on as a shawl, also can become a makeshift bag if needed, you’ll find many uses. It’s a nice lightweight addition to my carry on.
Wear your biggest shoes.
Charcoal capsules.
Make a small 1st aid kit…. including benedryl, advil, bandaids etc
book notebook pen pencil sedoku camera socks pashmina bandaid earplugs eye mask hand cream trashy magazine almonds gum mints advil cough drop lip balm chocolate
Take your sister!
fruit, or what ever you plan on eating that day, no yogurt or jams, phone, it’s charger, only take jewerly you are wearing, empty water bottle/canteen…
I always wear a scarf on the plane — if someone near me even hints of sneezing/coughing/sniffling, I wrap the scarf around my nose/mouth….
Do you have a neck pillow? I have an extra — makes a huge difference for sleeping on the long flight
your fav herbal tea bags
This is the best list.. love the scarf idea…i’m taking notes..
What is a pareo or a pashima?
I do the large scarf idea, too. Also, peppermint gum for any ear-popping or turbulence upset.
Some Elderberry tincture. One for the way there and one for the way back
Anything that may be needed just in case the checked baggage does not arrive in a timely manner
Check it or carry it on?
FB replies: 4
Be careful of the weight on that roomy suitcase. Going over the weight limit can cost you big. Make sure you keep your valuables with you. I usually carry my backpack with laptop and purse inside and then have my camera bag for my camera equipment, if I am taking it. Though I think they allow a camera bag as a third bag.
Emotional baggage limited to two checked pieces and one carry on…… So on second thought bring as little as possible!
Bring as little as possible, and pack an extra, stuffable duffle for the way home. Or bring stuff that you are happy to leave along the way in order to make space for what you collect. I also suggest having as little carry on as possible, particularly if traveling solo–it makes airport wandering and visits to the loo MUCH easier! Bon Voyage!
Beware: They now charge for carry ons unless they fit under the seat infront of you
Do you carry or check your toiletries? Any other toiletry tips?
FB replies: 16
How long is your flight/layovers? I carry what I may need in case of delay, like toothbrush, toothpaste, deodorant, lotion, lip balm, and an all in one shampoo-conditioner. Also will the 3 ounce size you are allowed to carry on be enough for your trip?
How long is your flight/layovers? I carry what I may need in case of delay, like toothbrush, toothpaste, deodorant, lotion, lip balm, and an all in one shampoo-conditioner. Also will the 3 ounce size you are allowed to carry on be enough for your trip?
check ’em! 3 oz is not much! I pack them in freezer ziplock bags. Easy to see what’s what and protects against spillage…Did you ever check out Rick Steve’s site? He’s the ultimate traveler.
Ricksteves.com
You have to check any liquids/gels, so you’ll probably have to check your toiletries. sometimes i carry on a toothbrush sans toothpaste. but it’s really easier to check liquids/gels than make sure they’re small enough and in a clear plastic bag and you have to take it out as you go through security…big pain in ass.
CHECK them, different airports (believe it or not) allow different items, it’ll be a bummer to loose your coveted cleaning gear to tsa… Yes on toiletries bag, soo many nice ones out there these days…
Take the 3 oz items lotion, tp & put em in a sandwich baggie…
Think about what you might like to have on you in case of excess layover, or (the unspeakable) lost luggage…
Heck your ‘toiletries’ bag. You’ll need more than 3oz for you entire trip, the kind of shopping you want to be doing is for fun, not hairproducts, trust me & think of me, lol, while shooping for fun! Carry on in sandwich bag some toothpaste & lotion. Chances are your luggage will NOT get lost, that is not what you are manifesting.
If you’re checking luggage, check your toiletries, except for toothpaste etc. I travel for 2 weeks at a time, use only carry on, and shampoo etc is enough. If not, you can always buy some there. I check gel all the time, no issue.
I meant, as long as ligquids are 3.4 oz or less, you can take gel etc. I’ve never had any toiletry items removed as in the correct amount.
Also, hotels usually provide shampoo etc. so I either alternate using mine with the hotel, or use mine until it runs out and then use the hotel. I hate checking bags….
my mom’s toiletry bag just split this morning while visiting and the little shampoo bottle inside was leaking too. get a “travel/adventure gear” option from sams instead of a drug store version. more rugged. on the other hand, i spent 5 months washing my hair with the free liquid soap now available in every public bathroom in the world and that works just fine.
What are your favorite wardrobe items when traveling?
FB Replies: 7
It’s very simple – I pack for one week and expect to do laundry once. Also, clothes from Title IX — pack small, versatile, can dress up and down.
Black tunic that can be worn as dress or top! comfy clothes for getting into at end of day!
too hard to transfer 1 closet to the next, gotta see that wardrobe in person….pack for 7 days, “casual chic”… leggings and dresses, 2 scarves (see , I can only relate it to mine) happy to come over when you think you’re packed and be rut…hless for you.
Black pants colorful tops that you can dress up or down with accessories you will be good with that
Black skirt from Sam’s, some natural fabric or other. You can wash in sink and it dries overnight.
Don’t forget some kind of cover. no matter what the climate it can get chilly!!!
Comfortable shoes!!!! Most important item!
I carry earrings in one of those snap open vitamin holders…. they don’t get tangled and can sort by color….
Roll your clothes; stuff underwear and socks in shoes; base layer in solid color can match many different tops;
Lots of high heels. You never know when you’ll get to go someplace FABULOUS.
~
Have some travel wisdom that was missing above or did you see something that you never thought of before? Let us know in the comment section below!
Rhyme & Reason have been restored to the Kingdom of Wisdom–uniting the feuding Lords of Words and Numbers. If only this were true of our country!
Alas, this act of sweet sanity took place on the stage of the New England Youth Theater in this afternoon’s adaptation of The Phantom Tollbooth–a classic children’s adventure novel, delighting young and old with whimsy and insight.
The heroes of this story set off to rescue the Princesses of Rhyme and Reason, but first they travel into the Land of Expectations, sink into the Doldrums, face arrests and chaos, deal with ignorance and senselessness–and worst of all: escape the Demon of “Trivium“–who distract the heroes with trivial tasks to keep them from their noble pursuits.
(If I didn’t know better, I would think that Brattleboro was making a political statement.)
This NEYT production with performers of “mixed-abilities” certainly made a statement about “possibilities” rather than “disabilities”–a distinction highlighted by Director, Laura Lawson Tucker.
Tucker beautifully narrated this multi-media production, like a good fairy godmother–cueing lines, gently reflecting redirections, and even enlisting the audience to encourage reluctant actors to shine.
And shine they did!
I was embarrassed to realize that I had generically assumed that all people with disabilities were in some way the same. But this production by the Theater Adventure Program (TAP), illuminated my ignorance with those who could dance, and those who could sing, and those who could bring a character alive, and those who brought us all to laughter.
“Theater is powerful,” Tucker said, “It gives voice.”
The power of voice was no more evident than in the young man without one who played the part of the Humbug. He delivered his lines by pressing “play” on a recorder–and beamed with joy each time his “voice” was expressed–delighting the audience.
Suddenly the bigger picture of this production was evident as I witnessed the team of caregivers, costumers and stage crew who worked together to create this experience with the students and those of us in audience. From the behind the scenes director,Darlene Jenson, who seemed to be in three places at once, to the Interpreter who signed the show with such style that she too supported the show with each glance and expression and smile.
I don’t think I’ll ever forget the sight of Michael Jackson’s “ABC” being signed–and after the show, we were all still singing.
At times, the production was so engaging that I wasn’t sure where to look, and my eyes shifted from the actors, to the narrator, to the interpreter, to the props and scenery, and back to the actors again. Lots of surprises were built into the show including the accompaniment of an electric guitar for the solo, One is Lonely Number--and the appearance of a huge gold-eyed monster.
As an educator myself, I can’t imagine what it took to orchestrate this entire production. I was particularly dazzled by the scene in which the sunset was orchestrated by a conductor–creatively portrayed by a spiral of mulit-ability dancers and scarves–first yellows and oranges, then purples and pinks.
The theater was packed from top to bottom for this “inclusive” production of The Phantom Tollbooth, and my son and I were proud to be among the audience.
Although we failed to complete our read aloud of this treasured book before we attended the show, we look forward to returning to it with characters brought to life.
Thank you to all the actors and parents and supporters who made this experience possible–for all of us! (And thanks to the Vermont voters who brought back a little more Rhyme & Reason to the state. Now, it’s up to us to show the WAY!)
A reporter for the New York Times has been in Brattleboro for the past two days interviewing townspeople about you know what. Our murders.
This Vermont Life 