Never-Ending Summer

Never-Ending Summer

There comes a day when summer’s end is whispered almost everywhere.

Is it always a Sunday?  Or does it just feel that way because it’s August.

South Pond/detail, all rights reserved, Carol Brooke-deBock, 2011

Three weeks deep into the month that steals the sun, we gather for a potluck brunch at the pond for a second time this season.

We do the same every Friday evening, from Memorial Day to Labor Day, but the Sunday brunch is something special, arranged spontaneously by a string of unusually fair days, or in this case, by the approaching end of our time together at South Pond.

Some years we arrive for breakfast in sweatshirts, and other years in swimsuits, but always with thermoses of coffee and pitchers of orange juice and pints of just picked berries.

Either Carol or Joan (both if we’re lucky) will have a basket with something warm and cinnamon-y inside, and then there’s Don with his dish of richly crusted quiche; and Susan’s homemade goat cheese; and Andy, with eggs and meat, which he’ll fry on the grill under the bright morning sun until we are all well fed and his head is dripping with sweat.

Friends, and friends of friends, fill plates and gather around picnic tables or on blankets or in beach chairs in the sand, while young ones scurry off with bowls of fruit to nibble beside the swing set or atop of overturned boats.

Some arrive late, and heads will rise to see what new dish is added; and if empty handed, these latecomers will be encouraged to join the feast, “There’s plenty left,” we’ll say (whether there is or isn’t), and odd forks and pot lids for plates will be produced to accommodate.

South Pond, all rights reserved, Carol Brooke-deBock, 2011

No one should think on summer’s end at a time like this, and if one finds herself doing so, she should keep it private and try to talk herself out of it by thinking things like: those shadows are always just as deep beside the shade tree at this time of day; that patch of red on the distant hill is surely a decaying branch of leaves; the sudden, crisp current of the water is a relief on such a humid day.

South Pond, all rights reserved, Carol Brooke-deBock, 2011

After breakfast, we turn toward crossword puzzles or card games or conversation about the weather or politics or bovine lactation– with Coral who is off to get her doctorate in Alberta in a field that is apparently filled with possibilities.

Other young adults, once children, are asked about their college or travel plans; while other children, once babies, swim out to the dock or paddle off in kayaks, as mothers swim across the pond to the sandbar, no longer needing to look after anyone but themselves.

Someone picks up a ukulele and suddenly music makes more magic of this day. Time slows, and although we’ve all grown older together, it seems as if this morning, this pond, this community… will never end.

South Pond, all rights reserved, Carol Brooke-deBock, 2011

Thus I force my surrender into late summer’s embrace, pretending it’s not ending, as I open my novel and sink down into my chair.

The illusion is almost perfect until someone says she has to go, and calls after her kids to find a ride home if they want to stay longer.

I look around and realize that most everyone here can drive already.

By the time I finish the chapter, I see that same family, all four of them, walking in single file up the pond path.

Each of our families has distinct “pond” personalities–some arriving every afternoon and staying for dinner, others preferring quiet mornings, and yet others stopping in for a dip here and there in an otherwise full day.

As one who stays into the night, I’ve watched this particular family depart many times up the same worn path under the same trees–only now the children are taller and stronger than the parents.

Like a doorway out of the present, and away from our shared past, this family departs under a dappled light that most certainly is not summer’s.

South Pond Panoramic, Marlboro, VT, 2011; Bill Esses, all rights reserved.

Kelly Salasin, South Pond, August 21, 2011

Think First, Feel Later

Think First, Feel Later

“She’s so calm,”

or better yet,

“How is she so calm?”

or even more telling:

“WHY is she so calm?”

This is what I overhear in times of crisis–Like when the wedding guest passed out while I was singing; or when I was wheeled into the hospital for an emergency c-section; or even more recently, on the first day of this vacation, when my teenage son dove into the pond and came out bleeding.

(But not last night.)

If I’m asked, “How are you so calm?” I might explain that I grew up in a doctor’s family where emergencies presented themselves on our doorstep, and where I was often enlisted by my father to open bandages, or needles or stitches. Thus, I was trained to “think” before I could let myself “feel” which served me well in a life filled with crisis.

(But last night was different; and I’m not sure why.)

It had been our first day at the Jersey shore, and I had just finished a lovely dinner with my two best friends from highschool. My husband picked me up at the restaurant and we headed back to the condo where we were staying–alone, while the kids spent the night with grandma.

Before we crawled into bed, I checked email, just in case someone in the family needed to connect around plans for the following day. To my shock, I discovered a text from my friend who I had just left:

“I was just in major accident on 25th & Atlantic.”

My husband and I dashed back out the door and jumped into the car. The drive down this 5 mile island seemed to take forever. We knew how to serpentine through the town to avoid most of the lights, but there was no avoiding the tourists who made traffic unbearable on a good day.

There were two lights we had to wait out as we approached 25th street; and then there was the scene up ahead: flashing lights, firetrucks, ambulances, police. We had to park two blocks away because the roads were closed down in every direction.

I ran ahead in the dark in my sundress and flip flops while my husband locked up the car. I stopped the first policeman that crossed my path, and said, “I’m looking for my friend. She was in this accident.”

Ahead I saw her car, slammed into a set of pilings outside a family restaurant. Beside that, on its side, was a white SUV, with booster seats scattered around it.

“Is she still in the car?” I asked, but the policeman shook his head and pointed to a bench.  As I crossed the street, I could see that her airbag had deployed and that her front end had been completely crushed by the impact.

As she came into view, I cried out her name, and I ran to enfold one of my favorite people in the world in the certainty of my arms.

“There were little kids,” Lou Ann mumbled. “They were screaming. They couldn’t get out of the car.”

Just then, a police man approached us with a car seat in his hand. “Did this come from your vehicle?” he asked.

Lou stared at him blankly so I answered for her, “She doesn’t have little kids anymore. She was alone in her car.”

“That’s not mine,” Lou finally said, and then added: “Why did that woman run that stop sign? There were so many kids.”

The officer reminded Lou Ann that everyone was fine. “They’ve gone to the hospital, but they were all conscious,” he told us.

Moments later my husband joined us on the bench, and I began to tremble. I shook so violently beside Lou that I had to let my arm drop from around her shoulders.

(This is her crisis not yours, I chided myself, but my body refused to listen.)

When Lou’s husband arrived, I leaned into my own husband’s arms, and asked him, “Will you go ask the EMT’s to check Lou. She has a cut on her forearm and it’s swelling.”

Lou said that she was fine and that she didn’t need to be checked, but I insisted. In the back of the ambulance, we discovered that she had welts on her chest too.  “I’m just worried about those children,” she repeated.  I asked the EMT to wrap the ice around her arm so that it would stay put on her drive home.

Just an hour earlier we were full of smiles, leaving a restaurant, and now we were hopping out of an ambulance in the middle of what should have been a busy road.

We hugged one last time and shared “I love yous” before Lou climbed into her husband’s truck. Casey put his arm around me as we walked passed the accident scene and watched the police lift the street sign back in place. They remarked on how close she had come to the telephone pole.

The night was dark, and I felt strangely empty. I wanted to keep on eye on Lou, check her injuries, bring her soup, talk to her some more, but she lived a half an hour away, and she needed her own family.

I had felt this same empty feeling this past Saturday after my son’s diving accident, when they wheeled him into radiology for a Cat Scan, and told me to wait outside.

It was the same in the procedure room, when he resisted the offering of my hand while the doctor put 16 stitches in his head.

What am I supposed to do? I wondered then–and now.  How do I love people who don’t belong to me anymore?

(And what’s up with this “vacation”?)

It was another vacation, during another summer, when a car accident took my grandmother’s life. Maybe that’s why this particular crisis had me “feeling” before I was finished “thinking.”

Over dinner, I shared with Loud what had only just occurred to me: Three of the most special people to me in the world  had names that began with ‘L’ :   my Nana Lila, my friend Lou Ann, and my son Lloyd.

“My three ‘L’s” I smiled proudly.

This morning, I am extra grateful that two of them are fine.

Kelly Salasin, August 2011, the Jersey Shore

Blueberry Communion

Blueberry Communion

On Sunday mornings in deep summer, we stroll up MacArthur Road to the farm stand atop the hill. Our walk is canopied by lush green until we arrive under the bright expanse of sky–for the morning service.

Each parishioner, barefoot or sandaled in the grass, takes communion from the tray beside the coffee pot: a golden scone filled with juicy goodness.

Today’s choice is raspberry or blueberry; the latter having just ripened on the hill.

I am not fit for company this morning, so I tuck a scone into my basket, and head into the field under the netting where the berries grow.

I cannot pluck a single berry without slipping into the past–falling in beside my great-grandmother Mildred in Delaware–picking and packing and canning and freezing to last us through winter.

Today, it seems I can’t pick at all. My husband has slipped in beside me and works diligently at a single bush, while I bob from plant to plant, taking in the shades of blue and purple and black, in communion with Nana.

The dew on the berries lightens the impact of yesterday’s trauma: A diving accident. A cat scan. 16 stitches. Blood pouring down my son’s face as he emerges from the pond.

This morning he is reborn. Prancing down the stairs, dressed in white, claiming, “I might as well wear something nice since I can’t do anything to get dirty.”

At 16, his life is temporarily restricted by this injury; but at 47, I feel undone, not just by what happened but what could have happened.

As my husband fills a basket with berries for breakfast, I pluck, as our youngest once did–nibbling my way through the patch–letting the sweetness of the last day of July soften my spirit on this Sunday morning.

2011

This VT Life~a year in review

This VT Life~a year in review

The stats helper monkeys at WordPress.com mulled over how this blog did in 2010~

Featured imageThis Vermont Life  was viewed about 3,400 times in 2010. There were 73 new posts, growing the total archive of this blog to 105 posts.

The busiest day of the year was March 3rd with 112 views. The most popular post that day was Tweeting Town Meeting.

Where did they come from?

The top referring sites in 2010 were facebook.com, kellysalasin.wordpress.com, marlboro.vt.us, ebogie.blogspot.com, and vtrural.org.

Some visitors came searching, mostly for the lupin lady, faye hollander, mrs rumphius, making a living in vermont, and tom cruise tropic thunder.

Attractions in 2010

These are the posts and pages that got the most views in 2010.

1

Tweeting Town Meeting March 2010
8 comments

2

The Flower Lady May 2010
2 comments

3

Highlights of the Community Meeting, Part II April 2010
2 comments

4

The Power of Community March 2010
1 comment

5

About this Life October 2009

Thanks for being an important part of 2010 for me!

Kelly Salasin, January 2011